Sunday, September 15, 2013

Quarter Life Crisis?

When I was in my twenties I had a hard time getting my life started. I think this is normal… though my troubles were maybe not. I wanted to teach and so got a degree and did the student teaching thing and I was horrible at it. I was married during college so I had a husband and of course he didn’t really understand.

 Student teaching went so badly that I ended up working in a plastic factory instead… which was terrible. So then, I quit that job and went to grad school. Then I got pregnant and divorced, in that order. Life is all about timing.

 Graduate school, and single parenthood were followed by teaching at a college a long way from home for a short time… while single parenting. Then I fell in love again. I think falling in love is generally a bad idea, but we keep doing it.

So I quit that job, which I actually loved, to move states away, still far from home, get married and own my own business, making signs. Everybody knows that teaching college biology is the perfect way to work your way into graphic design… right?

The marriage was terrible but I was determined not to end up twice divorced… so I did that for ten years… sign making and terrible marriage. Then my dad died. By then I was 39. Middle age… look where my life had gone. Dad’s death served as a wake-up call. We only get so much time… it’s actually quite a bit of time, but we don’t notice it going away. A lot happens. We try really hard again and again and we still fail… I was dead broke. After trying so hard at love and success, I was a failure and I was working retail.

That’s a midlife crisis. That’s all the experience that led up to it. That’s quitting a marriage of TEN years and moving back home and starting over AGAIN. I know it probably seems rotten, to young people, when I say a quarter life crisis is not the same. But it’s still not the same. The heartbreak of failing at student teaching was real heartbreak, but it wasn’t a midlife crisis. Of course, this is just my experience and I’m often wrong… obviously.

1 comment:

Travis Cody said...

I don't think of it as crisis. I just think of it as life. I've tried and failed at a bunch of things. I finally started succeeding at some stuff in my middle to late thirties.

I still make mistakes, but I don't need as many do-overs anymore.