Gonna be moving back to Kansas soon. Getting ready to move. Transfering from the department store I work at to another where I'll likely be a cashier. I probably won't mention my work much in blogs because that could get me into trouble but I will say that I love my job here. The company has been very good to me and there are a lot of people I'm going to miss. Probably sounds funny that somebody who essentially considers herself a scientist and teacher likes a low level retail job that much, but I do.
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Been catching up on the you tube vlogs I miss, because Jasmine's not here to watch with me. If you watch you tube at all, the vlog brothers are always fun to watch. Two of the latest are about the uselessness of lawns and the realities of being bullied. I love those guys because even when they are being silly, they are saying something worth thinking about.
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Jasmine's starting public school for the first time real soon. Send happy thoughts her way.
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When did compromise become a dirty word? Seriously, if the politicians in Washington were my kids, I'd make em apologize and hug each other and start over. This is plain stupidity. The word moderate is a compliment people. Embrace it and move on.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Thursday, July 28, 2011
an actual blog post
Life is so strange. You go for years and years with things changing but not changing quickly enough that you notice and you wake up after ten years of that and find your kid is practically grown and your life isn't really what you were aiming for when you started on that path, that you feel like you... okay not you- me. I feel like I slept through it. And then it crashed.
This isn't the first time my life crashed and probably not the last, but it feels like the most thorough. I lost my dad. My marriage ended. I got a real job and gave up on the business. I'm looking at a move that I'm only slightly more thrilled about than the idea of staying here in these circumstances. I've got little time to get lots of important things done and I really feel like sitting here and staring off into space and doing nothing.
If dad were here I'd ask him if this is what it felt like when his dad died and he crawled into his own little hole and I'd ask him what it took to crawl out of it and I'd ask a few other pertinent questions because I'm sick to eff of everybody saying it's not about the money and then following that up with how they know what dad would have wanted. No. You don't. I don't and you don't. Things aren't like they were. Life crashed on all of us. It sucks. You know only what you think you know and I know only what I think I know and sadly, Dad isn't here and we can each only do with each moment what we think at that moment is the best thing.
It's like that saying 'what would Jesus do'? Well Jesus isn't here to ask and I'm pretty effing sure I don't agree with what you think he'd do. He was my father and I love him and I miss the hell out of him and I wasn't the best kid in the universe and I didn't succeed at everything he'd have had me succeed at, but nobody except me and him knew what it was like to be us. And Dad knew what it was like to not be perfect and not accomplish what you set out to. And Dad loved me.
This isn't the first time my life crashed and probably not the last, but it feels like the most thorough. I lost my dad. My marriage ended. I got a real job and gave up on the business. I'm looking at a move that I'm only slightly more thrilled about than the idea of staying here in these circumstances. I've got little time to get lots of important things done and I really feel like sitting here and staring off into space and doing nothing.
If dad were here I'd ask him if this is what it felt like when his dad died and he crawled into his own little hole and I'd ask him what it took to crawl out of it and I'd ask a few other pertinent questions because I'm sick to eff of everybody saying it's not about the money and then following that up with how they know what dad would have wanted. No. You don't. I don't and you don't. Things aren't like they were. Life crashed on all of us. It sucks. You know only what you think you know and I know only what I think I know and sadly, Dad isn't here and we can each only do with each moment what we think at that moment is the best thing.
It's like that saying 'what would Jesus do'? Well Jesus isn't here to ask and I'm pretty effing sure I don't agree with what you think he'd do. He was my father and I love him and I miss the hell out of him and I wasn't the best kid in the universe and I didn't succeed at everything he'd have had me succeed at, but nobody except me and him knew what it was like to be us. And Dad knew what it was like to not be perfect and not accomplish what you set out to. And Dad loved me.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
nonesense
I used to do this thing called blogging.
It's sort of like tweeting except you can use as many words as you want and it's sort of like facebook except you don't have to play Mafia Wars or pretend to farm or anything.
It was fun. I met a lot of great people that way. Maybe I'll try that again.
It's sort of like tweeting except you can use as many words as you want and it's sort of like facebook except you don't have to play Mafia Wars or pretend to farm or anything.
It was fun. I met a lot of great people that way. Maybe I'll try that again.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Question
Does the spider know
ahead of time
that he will be devoured?
Does he dance his seduction anyway?
ahead of time
that he will be devoured?
Does he dance his seduction anyway?
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