At Your Service

It occurs to me that I may not have said anything here about me getting an actual real job. For the last few months I've been working in apparel at a local department store. I'm still making the signs, but not as many and not as often.

Anyway, I've really enjoyed it. I like getting out and seeing people and I like helping people find exactly what they are looking for. Often, when I've really gone out of my way for somebody they ask me my name and then they walk away with a smile that suggests they are going to say something nice about me to somebody important. They never actually do this, but it's a nice feeling to have anyway. Even though it's not an earth shakingly important job, helping somebody find the right underwear or sweater, it's nice to feel like I made somebody's day a little easier.

Also, just in case you're interested, I lost four pounds last week. That's always nice.

OSI: Love

Love

When he was leaving
but not quite gone,
she held his hand
and though he couldn't speak,
he raised his eyebrows
in recognition,
and said everything,
there was to say.

Note: More OSI here

Blog Update

This was always a goofy personal blog where I rambled about whatever interested me and I've kinda abandoned it lately. For one, I started it when I felt like I had no voice and I since seem to have found my voice. For another, most of the bloggers I know are now on facebook and it's easier to just go look there for them. Most of us crosspost so you see the blog stuff on facebook anyway and I've just got out of the habit of blogging.

However, I know two or three people that aren't on facebook and the conversation has died off and I miss it so I thought I'd try and come back here. Besides, I like my header with the alien guy and if I don't visit here I don't get to see him.

Here's what's going on in my life. Warning, it's mostly depressing.

For one, my Dad died. My dad raised me and we were close and heartbreaking doesn't begin to describe it. It was lung cancer. It happened really fast. It was painful and awful for him and us too. Smoking kills. It's an awful death. I know you don't want to hear that but it's true. Stop before you've been smoking for thirty years.

For two, I'm going to be single again soon. I'm not really up to explaining all the reasons and circumstances. It's my fault as much as his.

For three, I'm going to be moving back home to Kansas as soon as I can figure out all the things I need to do to accomplish it, which is not really sad but is another stressful thing.

Me Me Me. I'm a tad self involved at the moment. I'll try to get around to other blogs and see how other people are doing, but at the moment, I kinda need to focus on this stuff.

I know you are just computer people, but you all have meant a lot to me over the years. Thank you for being out there.

For my Dad

"For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love"- Carl Sagan

My sister asked me for a copy of the words I spoke at my Dad's funeral. Please understand that I prepared this statement thinking there would be a lot more people speaking and I didn't really touch anything more than a tiny piece of what there is to say about this man. It's unusual for family members to speak at a funeral like this, but we wanted people who knew him to be the ones to talk. My father was a great man in every sense of the word, and while my words hardly convey this, my step mom and sister covered my gaps pretty well. I'm proud of my family and saddened both by the loss of the man who raised me and the grief that his loss has caused us all.

Here is what I said, as close as I remember:

Dad was a lot of things to a lot of people, he was an easy going, roll with the punches kind of guy and he was one of the few really, honestly, sincerely nice guys. He was loved by many people.

Dad was also a man of thoughts, ideas, and creativity. He was the man who introduced me to Asimov, Heinlein, and Bradbury. Dad was the embodiment of 1950's science fiction optomism; a guy who was pretty sure that mankind could solve any problem with just a little intelligence and investigation.

Dad had priorities. He cared about Stephen Hawking, Stephen King, and Spongebob but he didn't give two hoots about Lindsay Lohan or royal weddings.

He was there for me in an unmatchable and undemanding way; there for me through weddings (plural) and divorce, through stillbirth and Jasmine's birth, through high school, grad school, and teaching school. He was a joy in good times and a comfort in crisis and he never asked for a single thing in return. Dad understood on some fundamental level that love really can be unconditional.

He lives on in our hearts and lives and in turn in the lives of those we touch, and maybe that's a little bit of the vastness and love Carl Sagan was talking about in that quote.

I'll miss you every day of my life. I love you Dad.