Remembering Josh

In the early morning hours Saturday, Josh was driving home and his car hit the highway median. He over-corrected and flipped his car and died.

Josh was my step-brother. It isn't always the case when you father marries somebody and you are already adults, that you form a relationship with your step-siblings. Then again, it isn't always the case that your Dad marries the nicest, most down-to-earth woman on the planet and it isn't always the case that one of your step siblings is somebody like Josh.

Josh is not somebody I would have known under other circumstances. He was a large man with tattoos all down his arms and a penchant for large metallic face jewelry. Had it not been for our family connection I never would have had the oportunity to get to know him.

It's hard not to love Josh's mom. Both her and my dad are personifications of the word generosity, and so when her son was down on his luck and moved in with my dad and his then girlfriend for a while, I wasn't all that surprised. However, I remember being distinctly irritated with him when he came in really late one night while I was visiting and woke me up. I was sleeping on the couch and he was carrying a six pack and the look on my face must have conveyed my irritation because he offered me a beer... and we stayed up till two or three in the morning talking about parenting...

You see, Josh wasn't just a musician whose taste in music was a lot different than mine and he wasn't just a man with tattoos and jewelry. Josh was a daddy who's world revolved around his three little boys. He was a man with one of the most wonderful senses of humor I've ever come across. He was a dog lover who was willing to brave my idiot dachshund's fierce demeanor and had the uncanny ability to surprise me with a sensitivity you don't often see in anybody.

I wish I'd known him better. I wish I'd spent more time with him. I can tell you for certain that the world is a better place for Josh having been in it and that it's a darker place without him. Nothing I can say can convey my family's sense of loss. Nothing I can say will make things any better for his mom or his kids or his sister or my dad, and damn it, I'm going to miss his goofy smile so much. If you're the prayerful type, please send some prayers out for his little boys and his mama.