I Bet This Meme Has a Name

...but heck if I know what it is. It probably has rules too, but since I stole it from Matt-Man and he doesn't do rules, I don't know what they are.

If I were a month I'd be July. At least half of that month, my spirit is where it belongs.

If I were a day I’d be Saturday. Just me, coffee, my computer and NPR.

If I were a time of day I’d be 4:00 P.M. Just coming in from a walk in the sunshine with Minnie.

If I were a font I’d be Girls are Weird. Love that font.

If I were a sea animal I’d be a manatee named Barbara.

If I were a direction I’d be South because that's where the sunlight is.

If I were a piece of furniture I’d be an easy chair.

If I were a liquid I’d be Diet Pepsi; Lovely sweet and unnatural.

If I were a tree I’d be an aspen... at least then I'd be skinny and a few months out of the year I'd get to be blond too.

If I were a tool I'd be a corner rounder. Useful, but I'd get lots of leisure time too.

If I were a musical instrument I’d be an accordion.

If I were a sound I’d be the gurgling of a mountain stream.

If I were a food I’d be a lasagna; Deep and layered and delicious.

If I were a body part I’d be legs. I'm supportive that way.

If I were a song I’d be House of Awesome by the Whomping Willows.

If I were a bird I’d be peacock and the boys would all be pretty.

If I were a door I’d be a window. (These answers don't have to make sense. I was given no rules.)

If I were a poem I’d be Homage to my Hips by Lucille Clifton.