Miscellaneous

Sign orders are coming in a lot faster with the warmer weather, and that's good.
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MIL had knee surgery and came out okay, though there was some drama yesterday over her foot swelling and turning a funny color. Ultrasound came back alright and the doctors said there was no blood clot.
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Andy is looking for a new employing broker. He's also looking at going into business selling promotional items, which I was skeptical about at first but sounds more promising now that I know the particulars.
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I've lost about seven pounds in four days on a juice fast. I know it's drastic but I felt like it was time for something drastic. The scales kept tipping up and up and none of my clothes fit. I'll end my fast on Sunday and decide if it was a bad idea or not. I am taking vitamin supplements. The main thing I worry about is losing bone density so I am taking a calcium supplement too.

And that's about it. Not very entertaining, is it?

Jesus is on Facebook?

I haven't freinded Him though. You know how these things go. How do I know it's really Jesus? Anyway, we had this IM conversation last night (in my head).

Me: Hey there Jesus.

Jesus: Why hello. Hope you don't mind that I'm a little distracted. I have about two million of these windows going at once.

Me: LOL I hate when that happens.

Jesus: So what's on your mind?

Me: Well, I was wondering about that garden thing. You know, where you asked God to please not ask you to die for us. Don't get me wrong, I know crucifixion has to hurt and all but why the big deal about death if you knew you were being resurrected?

Jesus: That's in the bible?

Me: Yeah. You didn't know.

Jesus: Well, I have a hard time reading it, actually. It starts out kind of dry.

Me: But it's the story of your life. Shouldn't you know what's in it?

Jesus: Only the last part is a biography and frankly it isn't exactly an autobiography.

Me: So about the crucifixion?

Jesus: Well, I'm not sure about the garden thing. Sometimes those disciples weren't paying very close attention, but really crucifixion is awful and then I was actually dead for three days. That wasn't a whole lot of fun.

Me: I guess not. Well thanks for dying for my sins and all.

Jesus: No prob. Hey I gotta run. bbl

Me: Amen

Manic Monday: Warm

W.A.R.M.

We

Always

Like

Right handed

Moose

***

Five things that would make the winters here warm enough.

1. Moving

2. Opening a lava vent under the house.

3. Electric underwear.

4. Importing a miniature star.

5. Placing a dome over the city and heating it to summer temperatures.

One Single Impression:One Word

Poetry

To say a thing that you can't say with words
by slipping it slantways into another thing
as when he gently punches his friend's shoulder in parting.

(I wrote this for One Single Impression)

Highly Effective Habits of the Purpose Driven Afternoon

It's about time to post something here and I have just about run the subject of springtime and my happiness at not being cold into the ground, so how about another self-help article?

Two highly effective habits of the purpose driven afternoon.

1. Remember to get out of bed at some point. Afternoons are more productive when they are spent in a clothed position.

2. Try not to take longer than two hours for your lunch break. The purpose driven afternoon is one that starts before 3:00 PM.

There you go. Two life changing suggestions brought to you once more by the blog with the purpose of remaining purposeless.

Wordless Wednesday: Happy Earth Day

Is it really spring?

There is no snow on the ground in the spot where snow lingers longest in my yard. The sun is out. I went to the bank without my coat. It must be time to get my humzinger ready for the hummingbirds. They seem to show up and start looking for food before the flowers really bloom. Any day now I'll plant my nasturtiums.

Right up until today I felt like it was still winter.

Manic Monday: Plant

I was too lazy to take a picture of my seed packets but that is the same picture that is on the packets. I went to the Burpee web site and found it there. They are nasturtiums. I spent $2.00 on two packets and that is my gardening budget this year.

When I first moved here I tried to grow vegetables and had some mixed success. Lettuce does really well but the vegetables of my childhood do not. These flowers though, are perfect here. They like my regrettable soil and they don't mind some neglect. I would like to think that I could bloom so well my whole season when planted in poor conditions. At least I would like to not grow bitter like lettuce does long before the growing season ends.

Random Saturday Evening Post

Bye bye Entrecard. I liked buying adds on friends' sites with EC. I enjoyed "dropping" in on other blogs. Paid adds didn't even offend me too much. The final card? A paid add that I had rejected before showed up on my card. You have to reject adds every day or you have no control over what your widget shows. I waited patiently to see how the transition would go, but that's long enough. Bikini clad ladies are all well and good, but this is MY blog and I don't want to look at them. It's not a moral decision but an aesthetic one. After all, there almost never were any men in beachwear on my widget.

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Yay for puppies and yay for organic gardens. As for that resolution about the dog not sleeping with you? Let me know how that works out for you Mr. President. I would prefer a dog free bed but even though Andy used those exact words when we got Maxy... Maxy sleeps in bed with us.

When the inevitable happens you'll wish it were a smaller breed.

***
Here's a picture they never put on my widget. You can buy a calendar and support charities that have something to do with ovarian and prostate cancer. Here's a link with information.

The Jannaburger

Janna of The Janaverse created this recipe for a really spicy burger. Whall of The Blog of Whall would not take up the challenge, even though he started it by daring Janna to eat a spicy burger in his hometown.

Jasmine and I both ate this burger, which is not only spicy but also very tasty. Janna should write a cookbook.

Five on Friday

I always forget to look at the sky on Friday. In fact I'm not very good at photographic memes because I always forget to take the picture. I'm good at lists, but not long lists. Seven tripped me up earlier this week. How about five? That's easier and the alliteration works out for Friday. Also, since I just made it up (as far as I know there isn't already a five on Friday) I can make the rule be that there are no rules. There's no link list thingy or blogroll to sign up for or display or anything.

Five on Friday #1

1. dogs

2. cats

3. frogs

4. Kitchen sinks that have those spray things. I have a spray thing but it doesn't work. I guess it's ornamental which is too bad because they are more useful than pretty, really.

5. Verbs. They come in handy. I like it when proper nouns become verbs. I especially like it when the proper nouns don't belong to famous people. "Man I really pulled a Hazel." "First you line the thing up and find the center by Georgeing it."

George wasn't his real name. I have changed the name to protect the name of the guy whose name I forgot, but we did use it as a verb for the first year or so after we bought the sign business.

Wordless Wedensday: Mini's Hair Doo

Seven Habits

I think it's time to admit that, not only am I not a highly effective person, but also that I have no urge to become one. Highly effective people do not waste time blogging because they are too busy with actual lives where they are causing important effects on the world. I am not the kind of person who effects much outside of my domain and I'm not terribly interested in enlarging my domain.

How about Seven Habits of Usually Happy People? I understand that you can be happy and highly effective, but I don't think that rules out being happy and.... mediocrely effective. Here are seven habits that we could all use, even though they don't really improve our effectiveness.

1. Cooking at home.
It doesn't increase your income. It can, but doesn't necessarily decrease your spending. It is just plain better than take-out. Healthier too. It can cause the spontaneous outbreak of discussions which don't necessarily lead to better family relationships, but can.

2. Painting your toenails a surprising color.
Nobody will know unless you wear sandals but it's nice to get out of the shower and see something pretty. Also, it has the added bonus of distracting you from looking at your naked self in the mirror. Naked mirror gazing might be an effective weight loss motivator, but it's depressing... Unless you look like my husband.

3. Carrying Carmex in your pocket or purse.
Especially when the weather is changing and you live in a dry climate. This will increase your happiness. Honest.

4. Listening to music while you clean house.
You don't clean house better. You just hate it less.

5. Burning candles.
Get the kind without harmful metal in the wicks. Candles make people happier, I think.

6. Learn something new.
Not necessarily anything useful. Google something silly. Read wikipedia. Play word games. Having a sharp mind doesn't necessarily make you more effective but it can let you enjoy the world more.

Manic Monday: Taste

They all talk crooked now.
Grandma talked straight,
but she thought a little crooked.
Even those who loved her called her crazy.

She grew tomato plants taller than I was
and I can still taste the tangy sour summer
blood and mealy flesh.

Happy Easter

Sea Monkeys

They aren't monkeys. They don't live in the sea. Who named them? It was a brilliant marketing scheme because nobody would have bought brackish water ugly shrimp-looking things.

Anyway, mine (Jasmine's really, but mine by right of the fact that I take care of them) are still alive after almost a month. They haven't once played tennis or put on lipstick. I'd ask for my money back but I didn't pay for them.

Heads Up

...about the economy.

Andy went to the realtor's convention today in Denver and listened to the head realtor-type economist speak. He then gave me the low down on the future of the economic thingamajig.

Are you ready?

Here it is: The economy is either going to:

1. Get better.

2. Get worse.

or

3. Stay the same.

Hope that was as helpful to you as it was to me. :)

How to Plan a Backpacking Trip

Or anyway, how we do it... a step-by-step guide.
(This is my Manic Monday post.)

1. Spend all winter looking at catalogs (and e-bay and web sites) of new equipment that you can't afford and aren't going to buy anyway because the stuff you have is perfectly adequate.

2. Have a lot of conversations with your partner(s) in crime about what went right last year and what went wrong and how things are going to be different this year.

3. Make a work-out schedule to get in shape for the trip. Explain it to the dog, because she has to get in shape too and she actually likes that part.

4. Check to see if you washed the sleeping bags after the last trip... realize that you didn't and that the partner would be angry about this so arrange to take them to the laundromat without mentioning the fact to anybody... except the dog. She's okay with it.

5. Actually go for a walk with the dog. Notice that the trees are looking like they might eventually have leaves again.

6. Vow to bring enough oatmeal and do the complicated math involved. Here's the equation. Days Out X People On The Trip X Two = Number of oatmeal packets needed.

7. Think about making pancakes instead.

8. Take the dog for a walk and wear the backpack.

9. Change your mind about pancakes, as they are a lot more work than oatmeal. Redo the math and start thinking about snacks and dinners.

10. Have an argument with partner about who has the tent and stove and where it might be stored.

11. Take a walk with dog and wear the backpack with added weight.

12. Decide to make your own granola. Search all afternoon for the recipe and then change your mind. Put trail mix on the grocery list.

13. Things are getting close. Have a long conversation with partner about how prepared you are and how much training you've done.

14. Belatedly realize that partner is in better shape and go for a really long walk with a lot of weight. Come home with a tired dog.

15. Make up menus.

16. Another walk.

17. Make long lists in collusion with partner and have more exciting arguments... er I mean discussions.

18. Go shopping for food.

19. Stay up all night packing, unpacking, repacking and discussing the packing.

20. Get up early... about ten minutes after you went to sleep, drive for hours, and then spend two weeks in the wilderness.

Sounds like fun?

Another Saturday Night

Not sure I paid close enough attention to the new things going on at Entrecard... I'll have to look into it because it's acting in new ways I didn't expect.

***

I spent the day playing Zelda with Jasmine, thanks to my dad who gave it to us.

Also, I baked myself a cake. I let Jasmine eat some because I was feeling generous.

I noticed yesterday that I now have gray hair and I have come to the realization that by the time I no longer need pimple medication it will be way too late for the wrinkle medicine to do me any good.

Some other signs of my impending AARP membership?

1. I frequently use the phrase, "when I was your age".

2. Sometimes I look all over the house for my coffee cup and find I was carrying it the whole time.

3. I never know where my keys are for more than fifteen minutes at a stretch.

4. My favorite room temperature is 80 degrees, though that hasn't changed much over the years. I like to be warm.

5. There isn't a single skirt for sale at Wal Mart that isn't too short, in my opinion.

6. "Remember when bread only cost...?"

7. I am beginning to wonder if my wardrobe is dated but I'm not positive which decade it belongs to.

8. What are the kids next door thinking about when they play THAT music THAT loud? I can't imagine anybody would listen to it on purpose. It has to be just to annoy me personally.

9. People call me Ma'am. All ages of people. When did that happen?

10. I don't know who half the celebrities in that "celebrity news" box on my e-mail start-up page are. I never heard of em and don't care if they are all pregnant or not.

Ten Things I Don't Have To Do Today

1. Buy a monkey

2. Teach anybody French (this is good since I don't speak French.)

3. Fix the broken DVD player. (If I knew how though, I'd put it on my list.)

4. Eat chocolate.

5. Paint my nails blue.

6. Sing opera. (If I knew any opera I might sing some anyway, just for fun.)

7. Hug strangers.

9. Paint happy faces on the lawn furniture.

10. Convince the plants (mostly weeds) in my backyard that spring really is here.

Happy Wednesday.