A Rose is a Rose...

When I was in college I made friends with a group of exchange students from Senegal. We all drank way too much and generally had a very good time together, pulling all nighters while studying and talking about life in general.

Senegal used to be colonized by France so they all spoke fluent French as well as English and a tribal language that I wouldn't know how to spell. But what I was thinking about this morning is the way names were given to children.

Most of these folks were older than me at the time. They were working on MBAs while I was just getting my undergraduate degree. They told me that everybody used to have to give their children French names. It was a law. And then afterward most people kept on giving their kids French names till the government made a law saying that they all had to give their kids African names.

This resulted in most people having two names, one legal name and one that everybody used. Can you imagine? I'm glad we can name our kids however we see fit.

Let's Help Andy Sell Real Estate

Here are ten things that he probably shouldn't say to clients. He came up with the first two. Can you come up with others?

1. That's a nice pair of man boobs you got there.

2. I can see she wears the pants in the family. Who wears the penguin suit?

3. We can go in my car. I just got my driver's license back.

4. Ethics, schmethics.

5. This is a perfect closet for keeping the kids in. Don't you think?

6. You don't want this one. It's too hard to get blood out of a white carpet.

7. ... and you could hang the whips here.

8. That bathtub could hold a lot of jello.

9. This is a great neighborhood. Drive-by shootings were down 50% last month.

10. My house smells just like that. You'll get used to it.

Excuses

I have a customer coming over later this week to watch me do a particularly tricky truck lettering job. He has a long way to drive, so I can't make him go home. I hate when they watch. I end up making more mistakes and having to redo things and looking unprofessional.

Here are ten excuses that might make him go away, but I probably won't use any of them.

1. I have a bacterial infection that is contagious to anybody who looks at me for more than ten minutes at a time. I probably only have a few weeks to live.

2. The aliens that own the driveway don't like strangers.

3. Could you run to Denver and pick up some burgers? I can't install vinyl without fries from a McDonald's that's four hour's drive away. (This would only work if he happened to have an extra vehicle though.)

4. My husband's a really jealous, steroids using, extreme cage-fighting kind of a guy and he's coming home early this afternoon. I'm sure you'll get along just fine.

5. The vinyl won't stick if you look at it while it is being installed.

Cheap, Fast, and Easy

No, I'm not talking about me when I was single.

It's Monday, so I don't want to spend much time making breakfast. Dry cereal is expensive and Jasmine has decided she doesn't like oatmeal, so I'm making muffins. They are in the oven now. Here's the recipe, in case you are interested. I just made it up. If it flops I'll tell you about it in comments, but I make enough muffins that I'm pretty sure it won't.

Easy Oatmeal Spice Muffins

1/2 cup white flour
1/2 cup whole wheat flour
1/2 cup rolled oats
1/2 cup sugar
1 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. nutmeg
1/8 tsp. ground cloves
3 Tablespoons vegetable oil
3 Tablespoons dry milk powder
1 egg
1 cup of cold water

Mix everything up. Fill greased muffin tins about 2/3. Bake in preheated 350 degree oven for about 20 minutes.

My Funny Family

We had roast chicken for supper last night. Jasmine likes the drumsticks and she must have had seconds when I wasn't paying attention because afterward she tried to convince me that I bought a one legged chicken.

***

Andy called me in the middle of the morning the other day, just to say: "It would be wrong to tell someone that dialing 911 is just a pathetic cry for help?"

(On a nonfunny note I made butter rolls with the Smart Balance that comes in sticks. It has some butter in it and no trans fat. They turned out nice. Makes good biscuits too.)

To Do List

Here are ten things that are not on my to do list, but I wish were.

1. Eat chocolate cake with chocolate ice cream and hot chocolate.

2. Paint my nails.

3. Play Jasmine's new Wii for four hours straight.

4. Finish reading the book I'm working on.

5. Take a nap.

6. Perfect Mini's fetching ability.

7. Go shopping for a whole new outfit.

8. Start a new sculpture.

9. Sing along with all the songs from The Sound of Music.

10. Make a new character and play Shattered Kingdoms for six hours straight.

Yes We Can!

I hope you had a great inauguration day. I feel a change in the air and I feel like this year might actually, really, honestly, be better.

And The Winner Is..

We had three contestants for the bumper sticker challenge...

Bob from Black Holes and Astrostuff

Blue from Bluepaintred

And Callie Anne from Scrappin With Life

I wrote their names on slips of paper and put them in a baseball cap and then interrupted Andy's listening of Car Talk to have him draw one.

And the winner is Bob... from Black Holes and Astrostuff.

e-mail me at marilynzelha(at)yahoo(dot)com with your address and I'll get that off on Monday. I'll come by my 3-d Hannah Montanah glasses honestly, by sending you a photo of an astronomical event someday. It seems like the honest way to go about it.

If you didn't win and want your bumper sticker anyway, send me $5.00 on paypal and I'll get it out on Monday too.

Now, back to my regularly scheduled romantinc weekend.

Laughing Deer

These deer are laughing at me as I try to shoo them out of my yard and take pictures at the same time. They drive Mini nuts. We live in the middle of town, for gosh sakes!

Today's Post: A really random list

1. One dog in a cute dress that was meant for a baby but I bought for free at a thrift store that was having a sale that would give me one piece of clothing free for every piece I bought but didn't have a second piece of clothing I wanted that fit me.

2. Cinnamon: the all important spice that I am out of and need to repurchase.

3. Blue, silver, and pink: the colors I painted my nails over the new year.

4. Pink: the color I forgot to remove from my thumbnail when the polish started to chip so that now all my nails are natural colored except my thumbnail.

5. Fresh Air: The show on the radio.

6. Digital Pictures: What I am going to finish getting out of my camera as soon as I am done with this list, so I can superimpose a sign onto one and take it to the city office to get a permit for a sign that Andy is going to help me move on Saturday.

7. Weight loss: I give up. Okay, I don't give up because I can't afford to buy bigger clothes and I actually have smaller clothes, but I feel like giving up.

8. Cheese: What I will really have to give up.

9. 12 steps. Oh yeah, I remember those. Cheesaholics Anonymous. I am powerless over cheddar.

10. 48 hours: What I have to morph into June Cleaver. I have heals and I know how to use them. Iron? Not so much.

It's official. I am still a nerd, after all these years.

Conversation over the phone with Andy.

Me: So, how does it look? (my new blog)

Him: You used that goofy font. (in the header)

Me: You don't like it?

Him: Well, it's kinda nerdy. I guess that's about what you're going for.

Manic Monday: Sale

I don't have too many sales in the sign business. In fact, the only thing I ever put on sale is banners and that only in September, when schools are ramping up and need to be reminded of what I do well.

But I'm in the mood to give out a bumper sticker decal. When you give something away, that's like having a sale where the price is free... right? These decals are quality vinyl decals and they are removeable if you decide to sell the car, or your uncle decides you'd better take it off his car. They aren't exactly like a traditional bumper sticker. They are more like vehicle lettering that businesses put on their cars, so you don't have to put it on your bumper. You could even put it on a window of your home. It should look nice for three to five years-longer if it's in a spot protected from the weather.

Here are the rules.

1. Make up a slogan for your bumper sticker that's five words or less.

2. Leave your slogan in a comment and tell me what color you want the letters. "Blue," works. "Aquamarine," is a no-go. There is no background color because the decal is just made up of the letters. The letters must be at least one and a half inches tall, so shorter slogans work better. You could use this to advertise your blog address or business, if you wanted.

3.The contest runs till Friday when I'll put names in a hat and draw one winner.

4. By entering, you give me permission to use your slogan on future bumper stickers.

5. I can't really mail you a bumper sticker unless you are willing to e-mail me your address.

Happy Monday.

Science All Week

I've started a new project and I have to admit that it is getting a lot more of my attention than this personal blog. I call it Science All Week and my goal is to provide interesting, high quality science content all week long. I will keep this blog and I will try to give it more attention than I have been, but it feels good to be writing about a particular subject that I have some passion for and learning a little along the way.

So, if you're interested, take a look HERE... and if not, that's okay. I'm not sure yet who the audience will be or how I might want to market it but I'm having a good time.

Happy New Year

A couple of days late...

Here are my 2009 predictions

1. I will change careers. I'm not sure exactly when or how or to what, but this is the year.

2. I will move... once again- where, how, and when are not clear.

3. The spread of HIV in third world countries will begin to drop do to the new administration (hopefully) lifting some of the regulations against helping sex workers stay safe, or at least educating them about it.

4. The world perception of American IQ levels will rise because the president of the United States will no longer pronounce the word nuclear, nuke-you-lar.

5. Jasmine will figure out how to keep from biting her nails.

6. Mini will learn how to fetch.

7. We will (Andy, Jasmine, and I), by this time next year, live under one roof.

8. Conservatives will continue to disagree with a lot of my opinions but probably not so much that they stop talking to me altogether... except my brother who will take exception to the Happy Kwanza card I send him. Go figure... And maybe my Aunt who might accidentally find an Obama bumper sticker on her car.

9. I will find a literary agent who thinks I'm brilliant.

10. I will look back on 2009 as the best year I've had in nearly a decade.