Silly Drugs

We don't have regular television but we do watch TV on the computer and there are commercials. One of them that I've seen a few too many times is for a prescription drug to make your eyelashes thicker. Never mind fake lashes or mascara, you can pop a pill to give you longer, thicker lashes. Am I the only one who thinks this is insane? One of the side affect listed in the commercial is permanent browning of the iris, so it could solve the pesky problem of me having blue eyes too.

As long as we're taking prescription drugs for cosmetic problems, here are a few I would like to see.

1. A freckler. I would like to have more freckles without risking skin cancer.

2. An anti-calorie pill. "Take two of these with your cheesecake and don't worry about it."

3. A pill to get rid of those white spots on your nails that are supposed to have something to do with calcium deficiency even though your nails are made of protein.

5. A pill to get rid of leg hair.

6. A pill to cause my hair (on my head) to grow exactly however long I want it. For instance, two inches would work about right for me.

7. A pill to give me cool cat-shaped pupils. It would probably increase my night vision too.

8. A hair color pill. I'm afraid I'm slowly going gray. I'd rather not. Maybe I could slowly go pink or blue (not old lady blue.. more of a navy). Nobody would notice till one day Jasmine would look up and say, "I didn't know your hair is purple." That would be fun.

9. How about a pill to turn my fingernails shiny red without actually having to polish them?

10. A pill to make my skull magnetic. I could stick my keys to my head and then I'd never loose them.

Let me know when you see a commercial for one of these. They probably won't be covered by our new health care plans, but that's okay. I would save up if it meant never shaving my legs again.