Some Offensive Song Lyrics

I guess you would say I'm having a crisis of faith, but it doesn't feel all that bad from here. I just haven't gone to church in a very long time and I haven't missed it and I don't think I've really been missed there... also, I got tired of justifying my role in supporting the craziness of Catholic dogma.

Anyway, here's something even more offensive than my lack of participation in organized religion. I've never shared this because I didn't want to hurt the feelings of a friend but since she's moved away and not called or contacted me in two years, I don't think it'll get back to her. If it does I hope she can take it in the lighthearted way it is intended.

The church asks for a lot of money, regularly, and generally I don't have any. I've got enough to deal with trying to pay all the things I have to pay to keep this place going. This friend of mine used to say on a regular basis that she always paid the church first because God is more important than the cable bill. We don't have cable because we really can't afford it and while watching Veggie Tales (in a video from the library) with Jasmine my brain came up with these terribly sinful alternate lyrics to one of their songs...

God is bigger than the cable bill.
He's bigger than the mortgage and the Roto Rooter man.
Oh, God is bigger than the cable bill,
and he can make the check to me.

Are you frightened?
No not really.
Are you worried?
Not a bit. I know whatever's gonna happen,
God can pay for it.

Oh, God is bigger than the cable bill,
and he can make the check to me.

On the other hand... God really is bigger than my financial troubles, I think, so maybe if you look at it in the right light, the song isn't that bad after all.