Manic Monday: Guest Post: R.I.P.

Hi, I'm Mini. The Big Person said I could post today 'cause she couldn't come up with nuthin fer Manic Monday. She says lots of cats an dogs have their own blogs, but that just sounds like too much work. It would interfere with my naps, I think. I'm a Dachshund. I'm supposed to be a miny-ate-yure but Mrs. Big said I'm a little on the big side myself. Must run in the family. No worries. I still have my girlish figure. I'm cuter than cute.

I'm here to talk to you people about a serious issue called R.I.P. That stands for Rolling In Poop. I'm here to tell you people to lighten up about the whole smell thing. You people have no nose fer anything good. I just don't get it. You couldn't smell your way out of a box if there was a raw steak outside the flappy things. Still, the minute anything starts to smell interesting you go and ruin it by washing it. I'm telling you the cure for this problem now. It is the whole purpose of the Manic Monday Word.

You go and find some nice poop. Any poop will do in a pinch, but I really like horse poop. It has a sweet hay-based aroma underneath notes of definite poopiness. You folks tend to be a bit big so yer gonna need quite a bit of it. Just lay down in it and rub it in good all over. Maybe if you had a nice aroma like that you wouldn't be so keen on washing us canine critters every time we got to smelling just the way we like. R.I.P. yourself. You'll like it way better than that stinky soap. Trust me.